Friday, February 15, 2008

Different Ways To Show Your Love

Yesterday I wrote about the five love languages that Gary Chapman explains in his book, the Five Love Languages. I encouraged all of you to go and find out what your primary love languages are (and find out what the love languages of your spouse, friends, family, etc. are). Here is a quiz that will help you determine what your love language is.

When you have taken the time to find out what your loved ones love language is, now it's time to put that knowledge to good use. And here are some practical applications to show love in each of the primary love languages.

Sidenote: for most of these, I will be writing from the perspective of how to communicate love to your spouse, since that's what I've personally been working on. But these principals can be utilized in different ways to other loved ones as well.

Quality Time
  • Set aside at least one night a week that is "date night" for you and your spouse. This is something that Jonathan and I have done, and it has really helped. No matter how busy we may get with school, work, church, etc. we know that we at least have that one night a week where nothing else is allowed to distract us from our time together. This is something we want to continue to do. Now, the date night may or may not be on the same night every week, for us it changes depending on what's going on.
  • When you're sitting down for supper with your spouse or family, turn off the TV. Time together during dinner is a time to talk with each other, not veg in front of the television. Make the most out of time together by eliminating distractions.
  • Plan fun and new activities to experience together. Quality time is one of my primary love languages, so I absolutely love it when Jonathan plans new activities to do together. Going hiking, going to the bookstore, reading together, playing racquetball, picnics, going to the theatre, etc. Whatever the activity is, the most important things is that you get to experience it together.
Words of Affirmation
  • If you don't do this already, then you should make it a habit of telling your sweetie every day that you love him/her. Three simple words can mean so much, and it only takes a second to tell them how you feel.
  • Write notes to your husby or wifey throughout the day. Jonathan and I text each other, and often email each other while we're apart. This is always encouraging to me, and brings a smile to my face.
  • Compliment one another. Now, I'm not talking about coming up with random compliments that you don't really mean. What I'm saying is, when you appreciate something about your spouse...tell him or her. Tell them they look nice. Rant and rave over the yummy supper that was prepared. I'm sure you can think of plenty of nice things to say about your love.
  • When you have the love language of Gifts, that doesn't mean that you need to have expensive gifts. What it means that you feel so loved when people take the time to prepare something special for you.
  • Make homemade gifts! Some of the best gifts that I have ever received have been the homemade ones (they are often the ones that don't cost much money at all, which is a plus!) Put together a scrapbook of memories, bake your hunny's favorite cookies, knit a scarf, etc.
  • Surprise your spouse with gifts on days that are unexpected. Giving and receiving gifts on Christmas and Birthdays are always fun...but it's so great to surprise someone with a gift on a day that they are not expecting it.
Acts of Service
  • When your spouse has this as their primary love language, there are so many things that you can do for them. The possibilities are endless! This (as you read in yesterday's post) is my husby's primary love, whenever I wash the dishes, make the bed, straighten up the house, etc., I see that my husband is feeling so loved. So that makes keeping the house clean a joy for me, because I can see how much it means to my husband.
  • Do things that you normally don't enjoy doing, and it will make your spouse stop and say "Wow, he (or she) really does love me if he (or she) is doing that!"

Physical Touch
  • I don't think that this one needs much explaining...hugs, kisses, holding hands, massages, back scratches, etc. are always appreciated. all have figured out what the love languages of the special people in your life are, and I have given you some ideas of how to speak love in those different love, now what are you waiting for? Go show those you love how much they mean to you!

Also, if you have any suggestions as to different ways to express love in the different languages, please feel free to leave your ideas in the comments!


jonahtan zajas said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
jonathan zajas said...

Good run down on some practical ways to express love in the different "languages". It's always fun to find new ways too :-)

Russell Rodden said...

Aren't Spanish, Italian, and French love languages? You should add those. ;)

Nate said...

Lacy and I went through that book before we got married. It was great!